You don’t miss what you never had.

I never experienced my parents getting a divorce. They were never married, so they couldn’t ever get a divorce. I haven’t ever met my father so obviously I grew up different than the average child. People would always ask me what it was like to grow up with only one parent, and the answer is simple; it’s the exact same as growing up with two except you grow much closer to the one you have. The next question they would ask is do you ever wish you ever miss having a dad. To put it plainly you don’t miss what you never had. Clearly there are advantages of growing up in a two parent household, growing up without a father has left me completely blind to the more manly tasks of things like fixing cars or hunting, but having only a mother helps in other aspects as well. For one I am very “in touch with my emotions”, which some may consider to be bad or overly feminine, but I see nothing wrong with it. If given the opportunity to be raised in the “normal” way, I wouldn’t change a thing.


One thought on “You don’t miss what you never had.

  1. Thank you for posting something so personal. I too grew up without my dad in the picture but I believe my experience may have been a little different than yours. I was four-years-old the last time I saw my dad, and did have the opportunity to talk to him some throughout the years so this is most likely where our differences began. I had a face, and a voice to go with the label “dad”. However, I am extremely close to my mom as she is the one that scraped to support three kids, and made all of the sacrifices.

    As a child, I recognized that we were the “fatherless” family on the street. Luxuries were few, but necessities were plenty. Like you, I did not dwell on my dad not being around, but I did miss him from time to time. I really noticed my desire to know him as I started having kids of my own. I believe this is when many questions started coming to the surface. I mainly wanted to question his ability to abandon his children. I was never successful in tracking him down, but oddly enough, I grieved when I discovered he passed away.

    As far as you being more in tune with your emotions, this is a positive not a negative. I am unsure of your age, but as you mature in life, you will see where this trait will serve you well. Additionally, you did have a normal family because it is a relative term. I have met many two-parent families that would have been much better off with one. This is where quality beats the snot out of quantity.

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